Tales from the Crypt by Geoffrey Cruickshank-Hagenbuckle (pt 1)

by on Jan.27, 2013

“I’m sick & tired of all this bullshit . . .” (Grace Jones)

Initiating a series of short reports (sound of gunfire, off in the distance) showcasing damned books: turgid, sordid, morbid, doomed anomalies of anomie dear to my black heart. While books neglected in the discourse may often disappear, these select texts are so maladroit, maleficent, and malodorous that, were they better known today, they would soon be Disappeared!

Luv & Kix,
The Crypt-Keeper.

Let’s Get this Party Started
All quotes—Lou Andreas Salomé.

Ms. Lou Andreas Salomé—who knew/blew? Nietzsche, Rilke and Freud, apparently wrote some kind of film script (1922) called The Devil and his Grandmother, in which Satan’s marriage offer to one rotting dead girl gets hexed by his fiery Granny. I crap you nope. Googamoogah’s mother’s mom shits a live baby into the corpse’s lap, countering Death with anal birth.

Satan then screens his movie, a phantasmagoria projected onto the wall of the very Abyss. Here, The Prince of Darkness does not appear as a meager image, replayed in past action, but as Himself—real-time-live in Himself . . . His promise to film goers? “You will view what is not in you yet, the grinning decomposition of your basic life force.”

I shit you negative.

Holes burn through the celluloid (see Fight Club, 80 years before) as He sharpens the tip of His tail with a pocketknife. That flail, flaring molten red, He slits his fiancé to bits, cold bloodlessly. Wifey’s whacked off whatnots end up as eye-candy décor.

“What for you is death and decomposition becomes for me a plaything.”

Wafting chunks are blown up (enlarged) in zoom, moving “as if sharply animated by the drive to exist . . .”


I pooh you no. Satan commits suicide. Poof!
—Debut snuffs-hisself-film.

I searched this as a book and found no record of its title, in English anyway, anywhere. It may have been a story. It was published, so it should be possible to track it in German by reverse translation.

See also Lust for Life: the Writings of Kathy Acker, ed. Avital Ronell, Amy Scholder, Nayland Blake. Summary derived from Devil Father Mine, by Laurence A. Rickels.

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